Masters of Mischief: Prank Race
by CherryCoke
Summary: The masters of mischief go head-to-head!


****

Masters of Mischief: The Great Prank Race

"We've got to know!" 

"All right, we'll do it tonight. But I still think tomorrow would be better." 

"_Tonight!_" 

"Ok, Ok."

****

That night Fred and George sneaked to Filch's office. 

"You ready?"

"Yeah, lets go."

KA-BOOM! Fred sneaked into Filch's office while George distracted Filch with dungbombs. Then Fred took out all the files in the bottom drawer, and sneaked back to the common room. George soon followed. 

"Do you think they keep a record of _every_ prank/joke we've ever done?"

"Nah, it would waste too much parchment." 

****

Fred and George spent the rest of the night counting the files.

"I bet there are a ton more files," said George.

"Probably." replied Fred.

"Well, what are the standings now?"

"Us: 790 Them: 1,008."

"Oh. This isn't good. How did Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs do so many pranks?"

"There were three of them."

(A/N- Wormtail doesn't count. He _is_ a joke gone wrong.)

"I think I need to take a trip to Zonko's."

"Hey, I think I've got an idea for a prank**!**"

The next morning Mrs. Norris was walking around with "Kick Me" painted in red on her side, and Neville's toad was hopping around with a wig made out of yellow yarn. Filch was furious, and Neville wasn't too happy either. Everyone knew who did it.

"You made Trevor look like a _girl_," complained Neville. 

"The paint won't come out!" screeched an angry, worried; (did I mention angry?) Filch. 

"Looks like we'll have to add two to our scores. By the way, what are the scores?" asked George.

"796 us, 1, 010 them."

"How did they get more, and how did we get more than two?"

"I found some more files."

****

For the next three weeks, Fred and George did their best ideas for pranks, and earned 26 detentions.

"What are the standings now, Fred?"

"800 us, 1,011 them. I only found one more file for them."

"We need to visit Filch's confiscated materials closet."

"The usual distraction?"

"The usual."

****

That night Fred and George got plenty of dungbombs, Filibuster Fireworks, and tons of fake candies. (Most of them were taken from Fred and George.)

"Which kind goes in Snape's coffee?"

"The kind that once it dissolves, it tastes disgusting."

"Which goes into the French Toast?"

"Ton-Tongue toffee."

"Good one. How 'bout a trip-wire that sets off a dungbomb in McGonagall's office?"

"That would be nice. Do you think Snape uses shampoo?"

****

That morning, every one was in a grumpy mood, especially the Slytherins. There was a trip-wire outside their common room entrance that set off four dungbombs. Professor McGonagall was ready to find and destroy the Weasley twins.

"Hey, what're the standings now?"

"Us: 815 Them: 1,012."

"We'll never beat them."

"C'mon, I have a great idea for what to do with Filch's toupee…"

__

The Next Day

"Yes, I will speak with the boys. Yes, yes, I know. Gluing eyes and bewitching your toupee was very inappropriate and immature. Yes I will deal with it. No I won't expel them. Not yet, at least." Professor McGonagall was talking to Filch. "And I am sorry Mrs. Norris thought it was a mouse and took it away. There isn't anything I can do about that. I am sorry, but goodbye Mr. Filch. Oh, they'll be sorry they even thought of this…" she muttered. 

"…And if you do one more prank, one more, I will have to suspend you! Thirty points from Gryffindor." Professor McGonagall concluded, and left.

"One more prank, just-like-that. One." 

"Now we'll never win. The standings are Us: 820 Them: 1,012."

****

That night, Fred and George planned out all the pranks they'll play in the next month (by that time McGonagall would have forgotten about this). 

"Hey George!"

"What." asked George glumly.

"I've got the greatest idea!"

"Suspended? Do you remember s-u-s-p-e-n-d-e-d?"

"We tell Ron and Harry our ideas and they do them for us!"

"It won't be as fun, but it'll work, I guess."

****

For a whole month-and-a-half, Harry and Ron carried out Fred and George's ideas. 

"Hey, what're the standings now?"

"Us: 880, Them: 1,012."

"C'mon, this is our last year at Hogwarts. Can't we just do some pranks?"

"No Fred. Didn't you hear what McGonagall said? One more and - SNAP! We're suspended."

"But it's our last _month_ of our last _year_ at Hogwarts."

"Nope. I guess we'll just have to work Ron and Harry harder."

****

There are now three days left of school.

"What are the scores, Fred?"

"Us: 899, Them: 1,012."

"We only have three days to beat them!"

"Er-Guys?" said Harry.

"Who _exactly_ are we trying to beat?" asked Ron.

"None of your business." said Fred and George in unison.

"We've been doing pranks for you, it should be our business, right Harry?"

"Er-Right."

"Good. Now who are you trying to beat again?"

"All right. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. You know, the ones who wrote the Marauder's Map."

"Cool, my friends, at least some of them!" said Harry.

"WHO ARE THEY?" 

" Prongs was my dad, the ringleader. Padfoot is Sirius Black, the ultimate prankster and detention receiver. Moony is Remus Lupin, our old teacher, and Wormtail is Peter Pettigrew, the traitor." Harry spat out the last name. "And they are all unregistered Animagi. I don't think you can beat that, prank-wise."

"Oh. But that's really cool! Animagi? That's awesome!"

****

It is now the last day of school.

"We'll make the best prank of the century! And McGonagall can't stop us because we are leaving school!"

Fred and George served Canary Creams to everyone they could. (And Professor McGonagall makes a pretty funny bird!) They teamed up with Peeves and threw water balloons at everybody. Then they started a food fight. Neville had four Ton-Tongue Toffees, courtesy of Fred and George. His tongue grew to nine and three quarters feet long. They put salt in Snape's coffee, set off dungbombs everywhere they could, kicked Mrs. Norris, and printed "Malfoy is a loser" on a broom and flew it around the school. 

Then they went home, and their mother reminded them of a howler. 

__

"Sirius, this is stupid. How are we supposed to dye Snape's hair purple without waking him?" asked James. 

"Trust me." 

"That would be the dumbest thing I have ever done."

James, Remus, and Sirius were going to do a few "goodbye pranks" before they left.

"I think making McGonagall's hair come alive would be the WORST idea on this list," said Remus.

"Fine, then I'll only make that sixth-year girl named Rene Inklebug's hair come to life."

"Sirius!" said Remus and James together.

"All right, I won't."

****

The next morning

"James, you are brilliant!" James was walking around with the invisibility cloak around his body, so only his head and arms showed.

"Just keep pretending your whole body's there and it will scare the pants off any first year!" 

"Oh, is that_ what you wanted to do with Mrs. Norris, Remus?"_

"Yup."

Mrs. Norris was walking around with a toy mouse on her tail, and she kept running in circles trying to catch it. 

"Do you think she'll catch it?"

"No."

"AHHHHH!"

"What's up with her?" 

"I dunno."

"You are just a floating head! Ahhh!" and she ran away screaming.

****

They made many pranks that day, and even bewitched the suits of armor so that they danced all over the school while singing "Do you love me?" on the top of their lungs. (Wait; do suits of armor have lungs? Oh well.)

During the feast, they made the fruitcake run away from Snape, who happened to have purple hair. Since he didn't own a mirror, though, he apparently did not understand what was so funny about his head.

"Hey! Come back here!" yelled a furious and purple-haired Snape.

McGonagall sort of lost it, and started to dance with one of the suits of armor.

"Sirius, I have a question for you," said a half-invisible James.

"What?"

"Did_ you make Rene Inklebug's hair come to life?"_

"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't."

"Sirius! We told you not to!"

"Sorry."

"AHHHHH!"

"What was that?" asked Remus.

"Rene Inklebug." replied Sirius.

Lily came over and sat down with them.

"Hi guys!"

"Do not disturb me," said Sirius. "I am sacrificing my pudding to hit-"

FWOONG! SPLAT!

"McGonagall in the face. Bulls-eye!"

Lily giggled, and then took out her camera and took a picture of a furious, pudding-faced McGonagall. 

At the end of the day, Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, Prongs and Lily said goodbye to all their friends and then set off the Grand Finale. 

Eighteen dungbombs and twenty-five Filibuster Fireworks. In the fireworks it said:

"And so departs the Masters of Mischief! "

****

END

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to J.K, Rowling, except I think "Do You Love Me?" belongs to the Contours. 

Please read and Review.

P.S. Thank you Tropical Fishy for informing me that Snape does NOT own a mirror, even though that fact is quite obvious. 

(Even though my name is CherryCoke, I do not like Cherry Coke. It is a funny world!)


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